My youngest son (10) has never been good at pushing a shopping cart. He is forever running over, bumping into, and generally terrorizing all things animal, vegetable, and mineral. My solution was to not let him push the cart, but as he so wisely pointed out last time we shopped, he will never learn if he doesn't get to try. Fortified with patience and optimism, yesterday I let him push the cart. Why not? We were at the Wal-mart Neighborhood market which has wide aisles and I would be sure to guide him every step of the way. I threatened to put "Student Driver" signs on the cart but he didn't think that was very funny. We made our way through the store learning how to steer straight and to excuse ourselves and move when in someone's way. We left the store with TWO carts, it was a stocking up the pantry, must buy dog food, I don't want to have to shop again till after Armageddon kind of day. I congratulated him on his driving. And then...(you know what's coming)...he ran into me at full speed with a heavy cart and the dreaded shopping cart indian rug burn to my leg made me scream. So unexpected, so much pain! My scream brought a knight to this fuming damsel, and while I'm choking back tears and sobs I'm having to reassure all and sundry that I am fine as I hobble around (walk it off! walk it off!). My son looks at me anxiously, so far all I've done is that one blood curling scream. I look him straight in the eyes and say through gritted teeth and unshed tears, "You failed your driving test."